14 October 2005
failed.. once again.
and so i thought i could overcome all obstacles that lay in front of me. i got smacked right in my face.. and fell so low.
i had to stupidly ask for information that i didn't have to hear at this moment. like oh,
went to update passport, paid bike installments, alter pants for melbourne (i really think you've got hidden stash, or either good loanshark friends). and so mr queensway man asked him how i was, he softly told him that we ain't seeing each other anymore. and he'll tell him more about it next time.
after hearing that my world fell into pieces, just when i felt today was going to be good. called melbourne, bawling for like 10 mins i think. yea, i know you told me how he's suffering just as bad and all that stuff.. but he's not showing it. and i'm too weak to think that he's suffering too. cos i can see that he's not. who knows.. maybe he tells you those stuff because he knows you'll let me know.. and like he's just trying to be nice and not tell you that he doesn't need me at all. but in actual fact. he really doesnt.
someone just kill me. i'm just as confused as you guys are about me. i don't know what i need or want.
read some notes on social behaviour studies, this is what it said about the difference between liking and loving:
Liking:
- I have great confidence in this person's good judgement
- This person is one of the most likeable people I know
- I think that this person is unusually well adjusted
Loving:
- If I could never be with this person, I would feel miserable
- I feel very possessive towards this person
- I would forgive this person for practically anything
hmmm. there's more to it than this, so many factors. but anyhow, so are you guys liking or loving someone?
stupid subject, i'm going through tough shit now and they make me study a chapter of
interpersonal attraction & close relationships. and then they tell me companionate love and passionate love. like i'm trying to avoid such stuff BUT no i can't.. because i got to study for it. jokes you know.
Companionate Love: Strong feelings of intimacy and affection one feels for another person but does not necessarily experience arousal and/or passion. Based on friendship, mutual attraction, common interests. Their lives are deeply intertwined with strong affection that people have. The intense absorption in the other and the thrill of romance fades. It is characterized by high commitment and intimacy but low on passion.
Passionate Love: Intense absorption in someone. A sense of intense longing for union with one another. An intense longing for the other person and by physiological arousal in his or her presence. They are absorbed in one another, feel ecstatic at attaining their partner's love. When love is reciprocated, people feel great fulfillment but sadness and despair when it is not.
hmmm. i think i'm passionate love, i don't think i'm prepared for companionate love yet. i'm not saying i'm horny or whatever, jokes. don't interpret it that way.
my entries get longer as the days go by.. well well.. i'm warming up pretty well. or am i doing what my textbook says: 'Writing about or confiding in others about a traumatic event may help people get a better understanding of the event and thus move forward with life. Keeping a diary like Princess Diana, but do not allow it to be stolen, might help'.
haha. this subject's highly interesting. i'm confident if i weren't in this state now and had a little more time to prepare.. i'd be so interested in it and score a high distinction. but how fate plays with you. and i'm ending up like this.. blogging when i should be studying.
03:57
