14 January 2006
something about.
wala today was good, though the other half of the group took so long to arrive. jokes. i wouldn't mind going there every week just to listen to them, except that during the break time they take freaking long and it gets kinda boring.
i hear birds chirping. today's weather was better (technically last night), a pity i woke too late to enjoy it. i desperately need to shop, but everytime i head to town i don't see anything. i have so many things in mind of what i want to get.
a proper conversation on msn finally was started. but that's that. what's more to it.. nothing i guess. initiation had to be started always. oh well. mysterious.. hmmm.. or aloof?
and so the feeling of getting betrayed sucks. surprisingly i wasn't full of anger, goes to show i'm getting over it. well, i'm still shocked that it came from that certain party instead of another. i'm too naive. always too nice. gee. got to rough it up abit. i mean what's past is past, why the hell bring it up when recently i brought it up you said it didn't matter at all. silly. and that's all you called me for? to say you've heard a lot of things about me.. that doesn't sound like a lot. worried about me getting drunk and clubbing.. oh bull. pls.. i've got people around me to really take care of me. don't come and assume about my lifestyle now. yes, i admit it was totally my fault in the past. yes, the trust is no longer there and i was the one that broke it. that i apologise. that's why i don't deny i deserved the trauma i went through. however, we aren't together now are we? no use bringing it up and saying you don't trust me. so let's just forget about the trust we had when the relationship was present. just look forward to how this trust now between two normal people can be built up after a long history.
look, i can take care of myself and i've got my friends. yes, i appreciate your concern as a friend now.. but don't try drilling things into my head. i'm not dumb. just because we lead different lifestyles doesn't mean i'm not responsible with my life. right now, you're just making things easier for me to move on better.
whoever can go around talking behind my back for all i care, it doesn't affect me anymore. and it shouldn't affect me, because i am also talking behind certain people's backs. jokes. as long as i know those who i treasure are there for me.. and what stays within this solid circle stays within it.
sheesh.
06:52
