30 June 2007

the album leaf.

all the time,

i wish,

that what you write and say,

you were talking about me.

i have to stop being in denial.

on a much lighter note, i feel very comforted, because i keep sneezing. so i guess someone actually misses me. woo. i really wonder who.

05:26

27 June 2007

pachabel's canon.

grey's anatomy. what can i say. i hope it never ends.

i can just cry my lungs out watching it. sigh. i broke down so many times. the last ep is such a tearjerker, not because someone passed away, but because it was too real. with every story that each of them had, i could relate. izzie, she blew me away. i just don't get why she has to go through this again. and then i hear what she says, i start breaking down. sheesh.

and then someone in the show says "give me a reason to stay", but no, even though so much prompting, the other had to let it go. i don't understand. was everyone made to want one thing but yet choose another.

"do you know what it feels like to not feel like yourself"

i wish i wasn't like that.

"we do not get unlimited chances to have the things we want. and nothing's worse than missing the things we want."

i wish i was stronger.

a few days back, i bumped into an acquaintance in town, and the first thing she asked after we greeted each other was why did i look so sad. that just left me stunned. i told her that i was tired. was i giving myself away too easily?

06:21

seriously.

"no secrets."

famous last words.

i guess not.

i used to think i was special
and only i have proved me wrong.

it's come to a point where i realise i always have to find out about things myself first.

i guess i'm pretty good in predicting eh.
though you've not said much, you've said it all.

i doubt good friends will keep things from each other.
i must be wrong then.

flens 4eva.

01:09

25 June 2007

overdosed and not needed, i reckon.

I would fall asleep,
Only in hopes of dreaming,
That everything would be like it was before.
But nights like these, it seems, are slowly fleeting.
They disappear as reality is crashing to the floor.

And part of me died,
when I let you go.

A past so deep, that even you could not bury if you tried.

*blind. (track number 7)

if bands like dashboard confessional, snow patrol, lifehouse, the fray and maroon 5 ever perform here, i'm going to be sure i'll be attending their performances.

and if ever, ever, bon jovi comes,
you know who i'm going to be the first to call?

01:50

23 June 2007

say it right.

I can tell by your eyes that you've probably been crying forever,
and the stars in the sky don't mean nothing to you, they're a mirror.

If I stand all alone, will the shadow hide the colors of my heart;
blue for the tears, black for the night's fears.
The stars in the sky don't mean nothing to you, they're a mirror.

If I stay here just a little bit longer,If I stay here, won't you listen to my heart?

- i suggest everyone listen to rod stewart. what a crooner.
special thanks to quekers for actually finding this song for me knowing i've been searching for it for ages (even though i know yoda has the whole album).

i'm having these weird bumps on my arms. like rashes. wtx.

i guess i can more or less safely say that everyone's accustomed to changes. and that you will have no choice but to be in tune with the changes. if not, who's going to wait. the clock's ticking.

and so i hope change is good. never really were friends with change though. just that what comes along with it is bullcrap. okay, it's alright. but abrupt changes- not good.

okay and a random thought, i have to get my favourite cap back. i hope it's in pristine condition. downside, i don't like talking to strangers. and i've missed calls but i just dont pick up or remember to reply. oh how oh how am i ever going to get i back. pluck up some courage doofus.

and i won't fail to mention this: rocksteady, to you all. the ones that have stayed with me through the ups and downs. till i breathe my very last.

05:50

22 June 2007

m i n u s c u l e .

i feel like sleeping non stop.
until i find something worth waking up for.

"to the world you are one person,
but to one person you are the world."

well said.

15:23

19 June 2007

hit the repeat button.

Well you're the closest thing I have,
To bring up in a conversation.
About a love that didnt last.
But I could never call you mine,
Cause I could never call myself yours.
And if we were really meant to be,
Well then we justify destiny.
Its not that our love died,
Just never really bloomed.

And it might not make much sense,
To you or any of my friends.
Though somehow still you affect the things I do.
And you cant lose what you never had.
I dont understand why I feel sad,
Every time I see you out with someone new.

- car ride home and i haven't heard this for quite awhile. in fact i haven't heard this cd i burnt for a bit, and somehow my big sister asked for 'lips of an angel' and i was like of course i have it. and so these were one of the many other bittersweet songs in the cd.

Let me in to see you in the morning light
To get me on and all along the tears they come
See all come, I want you to believe in life
But I get the strangest feeling that you've gone away
And when you find out who you are its too late to change
I wish I could be every little thing you wanted, all the time
Oh, I wish I could be every little thing you wanted, all the time, sometimes
*

i swear songs hit me in a way like no other. okay, and a handful of movies. it's not healthy, but i relate songs with incidents or persons.

and then, this cd brings back memories during journeys in the car. what with the few selected songs on repeat.

take my hand, break my stride.

right now, i'm clueless once more. feels there's something that's bothering me, yet it doesnt. it could just be one of the voices that's in my head. but yet, it could be instinct. but then again, i ain't psychic.

i want to get out of myself. yay. i hope i wake up looking different and with a different personality. so fun. who am i kidding.

it just crumbles and burns. does it?
please don't let it.

05:57

08 June 2007

ask me...

questions, i like when being asked.

whoa, and i think i've changed over the past year or so and more. i realise when i say that.. that's like saying ask me and let me tell you everything, because there's nothing to hide. whoa.

but i don't get asked often. gee. heh heh.

and then i realise, that i like explaining in detail to close ones.
*so to set the record straight (since like a few have asked me), if you see facebook and you see the status, that is a hoax. hahaha. [okay germs, sorry for exposing, but it's only here. and you're happily attached so you can't say anything, but you're spoiling my market. hahaha. jokes.]

leaving for bkk in like 5 hours or so. let it be a safe and pleasant flight and trip, there and back.
and please let my sore throat be fine. feels like some huge ass furball stuck in the middle of my throat.

alright, i'm pooped. hope i got everything packed. think i'll bring socks to sleep in the hotel, as you can see, i'm pretty worried about the cleanliness. i already packed a towel. wahaha. jokes. and like a tee shirt so i can put on the pillow. yay! i think i'll be laughing stock when i meet the rest at the airport.

so... good morning, good afternoon and good night to you everyday till i get back!

04:42

02 June 2007

basket case.

help me.

please.

it feels like last time when i was really in the pits.

what did i do.

what's wrong with me. i have no fucking idea.

i don't see myself being able to be anyone's happy pill anymore.

*please just tell me it's pms. and i'll totally understand.